Dave's just finished saying this to me. It's true, it's true. And here I thought I had a good pantomime going. It's a two way street, I'm telling you, and it's funny how even using what I imagine are clear and cogent waves of my arms for things, I still get that blank stare from people. Just like when I talk. Maybe it's just me.
Everybody thinks I'm deaf though, and that's kinda neat. Strangers, I mean. Took the train today, had to hand over paper and ID and not be able to talk. All of a sudden everyone was conducting themselves more politely, and awkwardly gesturing and signing at me. Not bad, I gotta say. And pretending to sign at people? HILARIOUS. If I'm going to have to put up with this, I might as well have some fun.
Spent much of the morning with my mother, and I think I freaked her out. Being a single mom, she and I spent a great deal of time together during my childhood-and later-just driving places and talking. Sitting in the car next to her, listening to her stories, it feels very familiar. But I realize (and she pointed out) that I've never been this quiet, ever. Even as a little kid, I was fucking chatty. It was, I think, a little weird for her. But good, nonetheless. Lord knows it's weird for me-I hadn't realized how much I talk when there's no one else around. Yelling at the cats or swearing or talking to myself. Singing a little song when I cook or clean. And I can't do any of it. It's all very frustrating.
Still, I'm embracing the adventure of it, enjoying the strange. This is an excellent coping skill if you can manage it-I highly recommend it. Things I saw today-man wearing a shirt that said "God's Army". Does God need an army? What the fuck would it do?
This was at WINCO, incidentally, also where I saw "Eastside Crips" written on the bathroom wall. At WINCO. In Eugene. No gang worth the name tags the WINCO bathrooms...this might even be a viable anti-gang tactic. Just leave the problematic gang's name up in suburban hot-spots, the sudden increase in lame-ass ostensible honky membership drives down actual violence. Hmmmm. I wonder if I could get a grant?
Lastly, and this is for all my nerds who are nerdless today as a result of my mutivity...you know that cart droid they have at WINCO? It's actually called a "Cart Wizard", and has a little wizard logo on it. The unlikeliest of places.
Everybody thinks I'm deaf though, and that's kinda neat. Strangers, I mean. Took the train today, had to hand over paper and ID and not be able to talk. All of a sudden everyone was conducting themselves more politely, and awkwardly gesturing and signing at me. Not bad, I gotta say. And pretending to sign at people? HILARIOUS. If I'm going to have to put up with this, I might as well have some fun.
Spent much of the morning with my mother, and I think I freaked her out. Being a single mom, she and I spent a great deal of time together during my childhood-and later-just driving places and talking. Sitting in the car next to her, listening to her stories, it feels very familiar. But I realize (and she pointed out) that I've never been this quiet, ever. Even as a little kid, I was fucking chatty. It was, I think, a little weird for her. But good, nonetheless. Lord knows it's weird for me-I hadn't realized how much I talk when there's no one else around. Yelling at the cats or swearing or talking to myself. Singing a little song when I cook or clean. And I can't do any of it. It's all very frustrating.
Still, I'm embracing the adventure of it, enjoying the strange. This is an excellent coping skill if you can manage it-I highly recommend it. Things I saw today-man wearing a shirt that said "God's Army". Does God need an army? What the fuck would it do?
This was at WINCO, incidentally, also where I saw "Eastside Crips" written on the bathroom wall. At WINCO. In Eugene. No gang worth the name tags the WINCO bathrooms...this might even be a viable anti-gang tactic. Just leave the problematic gang's name up in suburban hot-spots, the sudden increase in lame-ass ostensible honky membership drives down actual violence. Hmmmm. I wonder if I could get a grant?
Lastly, and this is for all my nerds who are nerdless today as a result of my mutivity...you know that cart droid they have at WINCO? It's actually called a "Cart Wizard", and has a little wizard logo on it. The unlikeliest of places.
1 comment:
My favorite thing about your current condition, Marcel, is you write more when you can't talk. Silver lining and all. I mean, for me.
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