Well, except for Gwar.
No, no. It's better than Gwar.
In that spirit, let me offer you all my own take on muppets. Many of you have heard this before-however, I feel like putting it down-gotta preserve my bits. So many of them have vanished in the wind. My own passenger pigeons.
Every muppet is born into the world with a perfect knowledge of the moment of it's own death. It's why they're so happy. Every minute of every day has to be crammed with meaning, and joy. They grin and caper and teach children to read in a frantic and ultimately futile attempt to add relevance to a life whose end the muppet cannot help but see, and feel, and know. Life is short-this is true, but a muppet knows just how short.
"But Aaron", I hear you saying, "This doesn't add up at all. What about Oscar? He's not happy, he's not even pleasant. He's a grouch, it's right there in his name."
That's true.
Oscar is immortal.
Every muppet is born into the world with a perfect knowledge of the moment of it's own death. It's why they're so happy. Every minute of every day has to be crammed with meaning, and joy. They grin and caper and teach children to read in a frantic and ultimately futile attempt to add relevance to a life whose end the muppet cannot help but see, and feel, and know. Life is short-this is true, but a muppet knows just how short.
"But Aaron", I hear you saying, "This doesn't add up at all. What about Oscar? He's not happy, he's not even pleasant. He's a grouch, it's right there in his name."
That's true.
Oscar is immortal.
4 comments:
wow.
were you drunk when you wrote this?
That very same night, the real Cookie Monster appeared on The Colbert Report.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MPt2-MQFKN8
What about Sam Eagle? He wasn't very happy either. Little too uptight.
wow. am i drunk while i read this?
it's like a muppet thesis for your puppet dissertation.
let me be clear here, or at least inebriatedly* pseudo-clear, muppetry is an art form. fuck all those people who yammer on about angels on earth. bullshit. we have had beaker. and the archangels bert & ernie. the swedish chef is actually a prophet. which is why we can't understand anything he says. it's a mystery. embrace it.
*this has to qualify as a modern-day spelling miracle.
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