Well, except for Gwar.
No, no. It's better than Gwar.
In that spirit, let me offer you all my own take on muppets. Many of you have heard this before-however, I feel like putting it down-gotta preserve my bits. So many of them have vanished in the wind. My own passenger pigeons.
Every muppet is born into the world with a perfect knowledge of the moment of it's own death. It's why they're so happy. Every minute of every day has to be crammed with meaning, and joy. They grin and caper and teach children to read in a frantic and ultimately futile attempt to add relevance to a life whose end the muppet cannot help but see, and feel, and know. Life is short-this is true, but a muppet knows just how short.
"But Aaron", I hear you saying, "This doesn't add up at all. What about Oscar? He's not happy, he's not even pleasant. He's a grouch, it's right there in his name."
That's true.
Oscar is immortal.
Every muppet is born into the world with a perfect knowledge of the moment of it's own death. It's why they're so happy. Every minute of every day has to be crammed with meaning, and joy. They grin and caper and teach children to read in a frantic and ultimately futile attempt to add relevance to a life whose end the muppet cannot help but see, and feel, and know. Life is short-this is true, but a muppet knows just how short.
"But Aaron", I hear you saying, "This doesn't add up at all. What about Oscar? He's not happy, he's not even pleasant. He's a grouch, it's right there in his name."
That's true.
Oscar is immortal.
