Smoking Pol Pot

Not the most topical of titles, but I just heard it and it rang out so delightful I'm sharing.

Sigh...

I'm just not feeling it today, wore myself ragged and sad today. Dave described to me once how chewing on things bored him, made him tired of himself. It's gems like that make the rest of you worthwhile.

I am so tired of myself right now.

And there's not a good reason, or there's nothing to be done. I'm wise enough to know when I'm not being rational or sensible, when I'm just Ripley grinding the wheels. I'll wait it out, and be happy tomorrow, or Sunday, or on the moon.

What's the only way to be sure? They tried and failed? Are you a god? Nerdy shibboleths, all of them. Shibboleth like shoggoths, things that should not be. And blind albino penguins, beneath the surface of the earth.

I've responded to spam from various angles lately, not least of which my mother. Aphorisms she sent me, culled down and distilled from the electric noosphere. Not my bag, but data contributing to my Mom Simulation, so...valuable. I sent her back the following, with the same aim in mind. Add it to your Aaron.

There's lots of kinds of smart, there's only one kind of stupid. 

I'm not in charge. 

Everyone gets to do whatever they want. 

My bones are made of iron, my heart is made of gold. 

Nothing's as wasteful as righteousness.

I lead a charmed life. 

Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right? 

I don't subscribe to that model of causality. 

Everyone thinks they're right, pretty much all the time. 

I can't be killed. (I love being able to say this, it's like a riddle. Can't disprove it, dead people can't be wrong. All they can be is dead) 

Nothing in my life ever got better because I got angry at it. 

Everyone's a coward about something. I decided to be afraid of being afraid. It never helps, I make theworst decisions, and most of the time being afraid of something ends up being worse than the thing I'm actually afraid of. 

I'm still a coward, don't get me wrong. 

Most people are doing an impression of what they think a person is. 

Stab 'em till they're happy, shiv 'em till they grin.

Stabbed myself in the big toe today, the right one. Deep-to the bone. Had it coming, I did.

I've moved, we've moved. Places and objects and fucking dust in my lungs and my eyes and everywhere, everywhere. New digs and vistas, the cats won't shut up about it. New fears and demands, so many full plates to spin.

...

I can't tell if I'm happy yet. I'll have to acquire and accumulate. I want more data. 

Nostalgia and Atoms

No taste for either, though I respect the necessity of atoms (for now).

I've been tearing through my closets, the dusty strata of my past here. I haven't moved in nine years, and at the time I moved in here I was living out of a couple of suitcases. I've accumulated so much matter, so many objects. Fucking atoms.

And some of them, many of them have value. Lots are crap, don't get me wrong, and I've gotten much more ruthless in defining "crap". But there were papers and pictures and leftover relics. The aftermath of me and mine, things I hadn't thought of in a long time.

Burn it all.

Everyone forgets the Articles of Confederation.

AND we're good. Place to live, cats and friends and laundry. It's the little triumphs.

There were a lot of you (really, lots) who came forward for me and mine. Thank you. I love you dearly.

Declarations

I've reached the point where I feel the need to be informative, and as here offers me the broadest spectrum, I'm going to sing out for a moment. I'll try to be clear and communicative, but it's hardly my forte. Bear with me, I'm taut and fraught and stressed.

David and I are moving. We just don't know to where.

Not having moved in some time, we have been beating the bushes and looking the best we can. We've both been uncommonly set here though (almost 5 years here for him, 9 for me) and I certainly don't feel as though I have the sensibilities or the skills that would make this a painless experience. So as of right now, we're moving by the First of Sept Ember, but it's still a mystery as to where.

This isn't good, I know. Still, I've gotten sort of used to gaming it out, running complex simulations of potential futures in my head. I have a worst case scenario, and it's not bad. We can shove all of our things somewhere (several options here) and couch surf until something opens up. While not an optimal plan, it is clearly viable, thanks to the generous and thoughtful society of People I Know. Practically, we should be fine.

The primary stumbling blocks are the cats, two. One black, one grey. While many (lots, to my surprise) of my friends are willing to kennel me and/or Dave, the cats are a more complicated issue, both for keeping while we float and for moving in general. So while this is informative, it's also solicitous. If you're well positioned to cat-sit for a week (or perhaps more), drop me a line. If you'd like to host either Aaron or David in the event of our regrettable homelessness(we're good company), drop me a line. 

Wish us luck.

Sulfur

Angst, angst and pathos. Bathos too, but not today. I've been scurrying and scrambling, and while I have nothing to fear, I am, for the first time in a minute...I'm afraid.

It's not what you think.

Philodox

I've started editing Wikipedia. Like crossing the Rubicon, there's no going back. Not that there was in the first place, really.

...

Froyo today, heat today. And relatives, recently. I have very (very). Very little in common with the rest of my family. But I love them dearly, these strange people I know for biological reasons. And they're not boring, none of them. That's rare, and I'll enjoy it regardless of our respective memeplexes and their subscriptions.

Gamist, Narrativist, or Simulationist?

 No pussy-footing around. Pick a fucking side already. My trichotomies are false, too.

It was a good day on the internet today, lots of beautiful. Like this, and this, and this. Sorry ahead of time for the redundancies.

Flair

Coronal Mass Ejections today. Four of them. Keep watching the skies, and hold on to your genes.